Patricia Wants To Cuddle | Samantha Allen


Happy weekend reading everyone!

I discovered this little review at the back of the sock drawer so I thought why not put it out there.

As you know, I like my books a little bit bonkers, and my goodness this one certainly fits the bill.

Renee has made it: she's in the final four.
But is she dying to win?

Renee should be thrilled to have been chosen as one of the final four contestants in The Catch, the world's biggest reality show. But now she, the other contestants, and Jeremy 'the Catch' have arrived on the remote, wooded island for the final show, Renee begins to wonder if there's something wrong. Is she taking a bigger risk than she realised?

And as she and the other contestants begin their final challenges, they slowly start to realise that the island they've been taken to is hiding a terrifying secret - one that could make the final Elimination Event all too real.

Eeerm, Eeeerm 
Okay, I am having problems starting this review. I mean where do you start? Okay, okay! I think I have my thoughts together! I might do…. Erm, I‘m not sure

Oh, what the hell! Let’s dive in shall we and see what I can do.

Patricia Wants To Cuddle is a Satirical Horror story with a bit of Deliverance thrown in for good measure.

Look! Pack it in! I am trying my best, ok? OK?
So, I suppose you can tell I have no idea what this book is, but hey that’s ok.

The story revolves around the contestants of a reality game show, called The Catch (Ithink it is something like The Batchelor), where the contestants have to bitch it out to win the hand of king skank, the Catch. I can’t quite remember his name. Ooh….. I think it might be Jeremy! Anyway, let’s not dwell on that coz he is a bit of a dick, and he doesn’t really get centred on much.
Then there’s the contestants, the four finalists of The Catch, Vanessa (a trampy glamour girl), Lilah – Mae (a born again Christian, beauty Pageant, trust fund baby), Amanda (a seemingly vapid insta influencer) and Renee (older than the others and a virtual emotional void) and they all get whisked away to this Island called Otter Island, which seems to have been in its time a hotspot for gay tourists and a place where a number of hikers disappeared in mysterious circumstances back in the 90’s.

The story flits around the four finalists’ points of view with some intermissions from the social media website CatchChat. In addition to that there is Casey, producer and oft times Agent Provocateur thrown in for good measure. 

I have to say, I enjoyed this book. It is completely barmy! I mean who thinks it’s a good idea to throw together a full-on dig at reality TV shows with Bigfoot. 

Well, Samantha Allen does obviously!

For the first part of the book, we have the usual kind of set up with the protagonists making their way to the bead and breakfast where they are staying. And it is during this time that the story sets up the characters and how far they will go to discredit each other. 

However, it is the second part of the story where things kick off and the reality show descends into a bloody mess – literally!

I am not going into any more of the plot, because if you think ‘Do you know what? That sounds right up my alley!’. It will spoil it for you. 
In terms of characterisations, I don’t think that there is anyone that is likeable here, not even Renee, (who we know is placed there for the diversity ratings because the show’s producers tell you as much) as she is devoid of character due to her shutting herself down, both socially and emotionally. 

Pacing wise, it takes a little to get going, but once we get into the third act, the story just whooshes along and you think WTF, is that it?
Overall, I found the book to be good fun and well worth a read.


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